What is Stockholm Syndrome? A Deep Dive into Its Definition and Origins

Sometimes, when you or someone you love has gone through trauma or abuse, certain reactions may seem confusing or hard to understand. One such reaction is Stockholm Syndrome, where a person develops a psychological bond with someone who has caused them harm.

While it may seem irrational on the surface, this response is deeply rooted in survival instinct and emotional coping mechanisms. 

In this blog, we will walk you through its definition, history, symptoms, causes, stages, and more—so you feel more informed and less overwhelmed.

What is Stockholm Syndrome?

Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological response where you may begin to feel empathy, attachment, or even affection for a person who has hurt, abused, or held you against your will. This can happen in situations such as domestic abuse, kidnapping, hostage scenarios, or manipulation in toxic relationships. 

It’s not a sign of weakness but rather a complex coping strategy the mind uses to survive a terrifying situation. The term itself has evolved over time and though not a formal diagnosis, it’s recognised widely in psychology and mental health conversations.

Origins Of Stockholm Syndrome

The term “Stockholm Syndrome” originated from a 1973 bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden. During a six-day hostage situation, the captives began to sympathise with their captors, even defending them after release. 

One hostage later became engaged to one of the robbers. The media and professionals were baffled, leading criminologist Nils Bejerot to coin the term. This event sparked interest among psychologists, highlighting how trauma, fear, and emotional manipulation can create strong, seemingly illogical bonds with aggressors.

The 4 Stages of Stockholm Syndrome

While everyone’s experience may differ, many people experiencing Stockholm Syndrome go through certain common stages. Understanding these stages can help you or your loved one make sense of complex emotions and reactions during or after a traumatic situation.

Stage 1: Survival Instinct & Fear

At the beginning of the traumatic event, your main focus is survival.

• Extreme fear and anxiety dominate your thoughts. You are unsure whether you’ll be harmed, and your brain goes into a survival mode—prioritising compliance, quietness, and submission as tools to avoid danger.
• You begin to feel powerless and dependent on your captor or abuser. Since escape isn’t possible or safe, your attention shifts to finding ways to reduce harm, even if that means trying to please or agree with the person threatening you.
• You may stop resisting and become hyper-alert to their moods. Watching their body language, voice, and behaviour becomes your method to avoid punishment and stay safe.
• You might try to “humanise” them to make sense of your reality. You may tell yourself they are just stressed, hurt, or misunderstood. This helps you cope with the intense fear and uncertainty.

Stage 2: Perceived Kindness & Bonding

As time passes, fear slowly gives way to a confusing sense of connection.

• Small acts of kindness from your captor start to feel significant. If they allow you to eat, rest, or even speak kindly for a moment, your brain clings to these moments as signs of safety.
• You begin to form an emotional bond. In the absence of other human contact, your mind seeks some form of comfort—even if it's from the person causing the harm.
• You may feel relief and gratitude when they are not violent. This emotional shift, though irrational, is a coping mechanism. You feel thankful when they don’t hurt you, rather than focusing on the fact that they could.
• This stage often causes deep confusion. You might start doubting your own feelings and think, “Maybe they’re not all bad.” This belief helps reduce the fear and unpredictability.

Stage 3: Cognitive Dissonance & Justification

Here, your emotional response begins to conflict with the reality of the situation.

• You try to justify the harmful behaviour. You may believe, “They didn’t mean to hurt me,” or “They’re only acting out because of their past.” Your mind works hard to protect you from emotional overload.
• You might begin to minimise or deny the abuse. Even if others point it out, you may struggle to see the reality, often feeling defensive or protective of the abuser.
• There’s a split between logic and emotion. While logically you know something is wrong, emotionally you may feel attachment or even love. This tug-of-war creates mental exhaustion and guilt.
• This stage often prevents you from reaching out for help. You may fear judgment or not fully realise that you’re in danger, delaying critical support or intervention.

Stage 4: Emotional Dependence & Defence of Captor

This is the most intense phase, where emotional attachment becomes stronger.

• You feel dependent on your captor for emotional survival. You might believe they’re the only one who understands you or that you can’t survive without them.
• You begin defending their actions to others. If someone tries to intervene, you might get upset or push them away. You feel loyalty toward your abuser, even when it's harmful.
• Your self-worth may be tied to their approval. You might think, “If they treat me well, then I’m good enough.” This keeps you in a cycle of seeking their validation.
• You might even resist being rescued or helped. The bond feels so strong that the idea of separation feels terrifying—even if it’s a step toward safety and healing.

Symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome

If you’re experiencing Stockholm Syndrome, you may notice emotional, psychological, and behavioural symptoms that feel confusing or contradictory. These are not your fault, and they’re more common than you think.

• You feel strong empathy or affection for someone who hurt you. You may defend their actions or blame yourself.
• You minimise the abuse or believe it wasn’t “that bad.” You may justify their actions to yourself or others.
• You avoid speaking negatively about them, even if prompted. Loyalty can feel more important than truth.
• You feel anxious or fearful when imagining life without them. The idea of separation may cause panic or deep sadness.
• You have trouble trusting outsiders. Friends or professionals may feel like “the enemy” while the abuser feels safe.

Causes of Stockholm Syndrome

The causes of Stockholm Syndrome are rooted in how the brain handles extreme fear and trauma. It’s not a sign of weakness—it’s a psychological survival response.

• Prolonged exposure to fear and isolation. When you're trapped or isolated, your mind adapts to the stress by forming bonds—even with the abuser.
• Lack of control or escape. Feeling helpless increases your need to mentally “connect” with your captor to reduce fear.
• Intermittent kindness from the abuser. Occasional kind gestures confuse your perception and create emotional attachment.
• Disrupted sense of self-worth. If you’ve been emotionally worn down, you may believe you deserve the treatment, making you more vulnerable to attachment.
• Suppressed emotions. Trauma can block your ability to think clearly or logically, increasing emotional dependence.

Diagnosis and Tests

Stockholm Syndrome isn’t a formal medical diagnosis, but mental health professionals recognise the pattern and can help identify it through careful conversations and assessments.

• Psychological evaluations. A therapist may ask questions about your emotional responses, relationships, and trauma history to understand the pattern.
• Behavioural observations. If you show excessive loyalty or empathy towards someone harmful, that may be a sign.
• Interviews and safe-space discussions. Professionals ensure you're comfortable enough to talk without pressure or fear.
• Ruling out other conditions. Your therapist may also check for PTSD, depression, or anxiety, which often occur alongside.
• Monitoring over time. It can take time for the symptoms to become clear, especially if you’re still in the harmful environment.

Management and Treatment

Recovering from Stockholm Syndrome takes time, patience, and professional guidance. The first step is recognising that what you feel is valid, but it may be rooted in trauma, not truth.

A supportive environment and access to the right tools can help you or your loved one regain emotional freedom and rebuild a healthy perspective.

How is Stockholm Syndrome Treated?

• Therapy is essential. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help you identify irrational beliefs and replace them with healthier thoughts.
• Trauma-informed counselling offers a gentle space. These professionals understand trauma responses and will never rush or shame you. They help you unpack feelings slowly and safely.
• Support groups create connection and validation. Talking to others who have gone through similar situations can reduce shame and offer hope.
• Safe boundaries are rebuilt. Your therapist will help you establish boundaries and understand what healthy relationships look like.
• Gradual emotional detachment. You won’t be expected to “snap out of it.” Healing happens step-by-step, often through learning how to regulate emotions and rebuild self-trust.
• Education about trauma responses. Learning about how the brain copes under stress can help you let go of guilt and self-blame.
• Emergency support when needed. If you’re in active danger, professionals will guide you towards safe housing, legal help, or protective services in a compassionate, step-by-step way.

Famous Cases

• The 1973 Stockholm bank heist is the origin case, where hostages defended their captors.
• Patty Hearst, a kidnapped heiress in the 1970s, later helped her captors commit robbery. Her actions sparked public and legal debates around trauma bonding.
• Elizabeth Smart, abducted at 14, later spoke about her emotional and psychological captivity. Her story helped raise awareness about how fear, control, and confusion affect behaviour during abduction.

These cases are reminders that ‘Stockholm Syndrome meaning’ is deeply complex and rooted in trauma—not personal failure or weakness.

Misconceptions Vs Reality

Many myths surround Stockholm Syndrome, often shaped by media or pop culture. It’s important to know the facts.

Conclusion

Stockholm Syndrome is a complex yet understandable response to prolonged trauma. If you're experiencing it, remember—it’s not your fault. With awareness, empathy, and the right help, recovery is entirely possible. Taking that first step towards healing begins with understanding what you’ve been through and seeking the right support system.

For trustworthy and comprehensive diagnostic services, Metropolis Healthcare provides advanced mental health testing options that can support your recovery journey with professionalism, care, and confidentiality.

FAQs

What are the signs of Stockholm syndrome?

Feeling empathy, loyalty, or affection toward someone who has harmed or controlled you emotionally.

What are the causes of Stockholm syndrome?

Prolonged fear, isolation, and dependence on a captor can trigger emotional bonding for survival.

Is Stockholm syndrome permanent?

No, with awareness and professional help, people can fully recover and rebuild emotional clarity.

Who suffers from Stockholm syndrome?

Anyone experiencing abuse, captivity, or manipulation over time can develop trauma-bonding symptoms.